I just don’t know…

It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything, and I can come up with several excuses as to why. The truth is, I’m still in a state of shock over the state of the world.

Like someone who gets mugged and says, “I never thought it would happen to me,” I, too, am feeling that, “I never thought this country would elect a racist misogynist.”

When November began, I was busy celebrating my husband’s birthday, and that of a close friend. Then on Election Day, a day that should be a national holiday so everyone of voting age can take advantage of their constitutional right to cast a ballot, I cast my vote for the most qualified person of all the candidates from the beginning of this campaign. It was a sense of pride, not only voting for who would have (should have) become the first female president, but for a woman who was unquestionably prepared to deal with not just the country, but the world.

I got a call from my best friend telling me she was panicking if Mrs. Clinton didn’t win, and I rushed over to her home. She was expressing what I felt, but wasn’t strong enough to convey. Together we were able to talk through our fears while we took a long walk around her neighborhood. We burned some calories and burned some anxious feelings so we could be productive members of society again.

I left her place after lunch, and breathed a sigh of relief. There was NO WAY Mrs. Clinton would lose this. I mean, common sense would prevail, right?

I didn’t stay up to watch the results. Maybe I should have. But when I woke up the next morning, I was floored. The closest thing to my feeling was when I learned of Brexit the previous June. (SIDEBAR: Brexit affects me and my family personally as my sister lives in England, not to mention several close friends.) When I heard that he had pulled off a win, I immediately thought, “It’s a hoax. It’s a terrible joke. I’m going to go back to bed and when I wake up, it’ll all be okay.” Nope. It was reality. The people of this country chose xenophobia over compassion, anger over reason, and hatred over qualifications. Was Mrs. Clinton perfect? No. Is anyone? No.

I can go on and write about how women are held to a different standard than men, but maybe I’ll muster the courage for that another day. The point is this: Voters hated Mrs. Clinton more (for whatever reason) than they loved the other one. I know that many elections come down to “the lesser of evils.” That’s something people have said for ages. But this wasn’t that type of election. This was a qualified woman being defeated by an unqualified, unscrupulous, and possibly sex offender businessman. This election was more about proving one side wrong than doing what’s right, and that’s the problem with politics.

I know, I know, the supporters of the other Democratic candidate are going to say that he would have beaten the current President, but I don’t believe that’s the case. Furthermore, I don’t believe that he was as qualified as Mrs. Clinton. But it’s pointless to argue any of this…It’s over. It’s done with. And it’s a disgrace.

The fact that there are signs pointing to an illegitimate presidency doesn’t seem to stop our other elected officials from cowtowing to the whims of the man in the Oval Office. Despite the rounds on news outlets, and the rhetoric that got us into this mess, we are where we are, and there doesn’t seem to be much we can do about it except shout our displeasure to the rooftops and get out for midterm elections.

So that’s why I haven’t posted something in a long time. It’s because I’m genuinely depressed about the state of the United States. I am trying to be optimistic, but, having known and worked for men like the current President, I don’t have much hope.

Strap in, folks…It’s going to be a rough ride.